一位買股票永遠賠錢的男人 - 股票

Robert avatar
By Robert
at 2020-03-16T00:08

Table of Contents




今天的主角是我大學室友。他叫小鄧。


小鄧是位台英混血的帥哥,高、富、帥每個條件都是PR99起跳。


但卻有一件事情讓小鄧非常的自卑。

就是他選股的眼光非常糟糕,跟本是地獄倒霉鬼的等級。只要他買什麼,就跌什麼!



才三天又賠掉他一週零用錢20萬的小鄧,週末,找我去龍山寺拜拜求轉運。



當我們經過一個算命攤時,算命阿姨叫住了他。





『欸~帥勾,你最近有個劫喔!』

因為我和他出去,被叫帥哥一定是他,所以我很確定阿姨是在跟他說話。



「阿姨我知道啦,情人節嘛。這招老梗了啦!」小鄧不以為然地回



『不是啦!我看你最近會破財喔!欸...你好像一直在破財捏!』


這句話真的有刺到小鄧。於是我和他在阿姨面前坐了下來。




『來,姓什麼?生辰八字吼?』




小鄧如實報完後,阿姨忽然面色凝重,闔上一本看起來很厚的書。





『帥勾,你...你是不是買股票從來沒賺錢過?』


這句話說完,我倆都大吃一斤!




「對!阿姨!為什麼會這樣?有解決方法嗎?」



『這沒有辦法解決捏,原因出在你的祖先身上。』



「我的祖先?我的祖先怎麼了?」小鄧已經近乎崩潰



阿姨長吁了一口氣,緩緩地說


『你的祖先是.........




















鄧不利多。』



--
Tags: 股票

All Comments

Gary avatar
By Gary
at 2020-03-20T07:01
Lily avatar
By Lily
at 2020-03-20T19:51
鄧不利多不好笑,這次給噓,請加強創作!
Edith avatar
By Edith
at 2020-03-25T08:21
還不桶?
Hedy avatar
By Hedy
at 2020-03-26T16:43
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Barb Cronin avatar
By Barb Cronin
at 2020-03-30T03:41
這種可以十年嗎
Damian avatar
By Damian
at 2020-03-30T07:00
雖然有笑點但是走錯地方 你下去
Gary avatar
By Gary
at 2020-03-30T18:44
ㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏㄏ
Faithe avatar
By Faithe
at 2020-04-04T10:11
哈哈哈哈哈
Andy avatar
By Andy
at 2020-04-08T04:41
八卦廢文收容所關閉了嗎
Tom avatar
By Tom
at 2020-04-09T01:29
笑死
Ingrid avatar
By Ingrid
at 2020-04-13T07:43
哈哈 給推 完全戳中我 笑點
Jack avatar
By Jack
at 2020-04-18T00:18
難笑,丙! 下去再練練
Daniel avatar
By Daniel
at 2020-04-18T09:53
最近這幾天的股版真的很…不一樣
Kama avatar
By Kama
at 2020-04-19T18:57
xD
Tracy avatar
By Tracy
at 2020-04-20T11:01
可憐 有夠難笑
Isla avatar
By Isla
at 2020-04-20T23:58
我以為我走錯版
Erin avatar
By Erin
at 2020-04-25T18:09
畢業文沒有,奇葩文倒一堆
Ina avatar
By Ina
at 2020-04-28T06:07
有進步 給丙
Joseph avatar
By Joseph
at 2020-04-28T23:32
直接永久水桶好了
Noah avatar
By Noah
at 2020-05-01T00:10
笑了
Jacky avatar
By Jacky
at 2020-05-01T02:00
說好的鬼故事咧
Frederic avatar
By Frederic
at 2020-05-04T12:51
笑死
Ursula avatar
By Ursula
at 2020-05-04T22:10
有笑。給推
Sarah avatar
By Sarah
at 2020-05-07T10:40
挺好笑的阿 我給過
Dorothy avatar
By Dorothy
at 2020-05-11T01:34
賠錢賠到變這樣 感覺很慘
Dorothy avatar
By Dorothy
at 2020-05-11T18:30
難笑
Necoo avatar
By Necoo
at 2020-05-15T22:09
辛苦ㄌ
Iris avatar
By Iris
at 2020-05-19T11:32
有笑有推
Jack avatar
By Jack
at 2020-05-21T17:50
在公園是否安好
Eartha avatar
By Eartha
at 2020-05-21T23:28
不懂 跟鄧有啥關係
Thomas avatar
By Thomas
at 2020-05-25T16:26
哈哈
Harry avatar
By Harry
at 2020-05-28T00:00
....................好啦給推
Agnes avatar
By Agnes
at 2020-05-30T09:28
是喔
Mary avatar
By Mary
at 2020-06-03T23:04
- -#
Annie avatar
By Annie
at 2020-06-06T14:23
ay 他姓鄧
Delia avatar
By Delia
at 2020-06-09T19:18
還不錯
Ingrid avatar
By Ingrid
at 2020-06-14T14:50
哈哈哈哈哈
Edward Lewis avatar
By Edward Lewis
at 2020-06-15T23:16
靠~幾霸亨
Carol avatar
By Carol
at 2020-06-18T15:11
哈哈哈
Freda avatar
By Freda
at 2020-06-21T12:53
永桶吧
Rae avatar
By Rae
at 2020-06-23T15:04
甲下
Isabella avatar
By Isabella
at 2020-06-23T23:03
我還以為在八卦
Hedy avatar
By Hedy
at 2020-06-26T03:17
好冷噢,送妳一個紅
Andrew avatar
By Andrew
at 2020-06-30T00:10
好啦 我有笑給推
Adele avatar
By Adele
at 2020-07-01T12:51
還滿好笑的啦
Quanna avatar
By Quanna
at 2020-07-04T15:49
30分
Mason avatar
By Mason
at 2020-07-05T18:56
色不利空
Mia avatar
By Mia
at 2020-07-08T14:37
慘澹的股市 需要一點笑聲 555
Andrew avatar
By Andrew
at 2020-07-08T16:37
Hazel avatar
By Hazel
at 2020-07-09T06:37
金排球XD
Olive avatar
By Olive
at 2020-07-12T14:15
好笑喔
Victoria avatar
By Victoria
at 2020-07-16T07:39
還不桶?
William avatar
By William
at 2020-07-18T02:15
有笑有推
Enid avatar
By Enid
at 2020-07-19T18:59
公園裡又瘋了一個
Jack avatar
By Jack
at 2020-07-22T20:47
好笑
Poppy avatar
By Poppy
at 2020-07-25T17:05
在公園裡發廢文哦
Genevieve avatar
By Genevieve
at 2020-07-30T11:10
超好笑
Lauren avatar
By Lauren
at 2020-08-02T05:22
給過
Dinah avatar
By Dinah
at 2020-08-06T13:28
好啦 有笑有推
Lauren avatar
By Lauren
at 2020-08-07T00:04
這個給過阿
Lauren avatar
By Lauren
at 2020-08-11T21:18
還滿好笑的XD
Kelly avatar
By Kelly
at 2020-08-14T10:51
徵我覺得很好笑啊哈哈哈哈哈
Noah avatar
By Noah
at 2020-08-17T18:58
不好笑,錯版
Odelette avatar
By Odelette
at 2020-08-18T04:48
你484在公園裏發文
Suhail Hany avatar
By Suhail Hany
at 2020-08-20T10:25
廢到笑了
Faithe avatar
By Faithe
at 2020-08-21T23:15
Enid avatar
By Enid
at 2020-08-23T19:27
好滿好笑的 別桶啊
Christine avatar
By Christine
at 2020-08-25T19:39
不好笑
Donna avatar
By Donna
at 2020-08-28T15:31
其實還蠻好笑的
Anonymous avatar
By Anonymous
at 2020-09-02T12:01
還可以
Hamiltion avatar
By Hamiltion
at 2020-09-03T21:02
我覺得不錯笑xD
Damian avatar
By Damian
at 2020-09-05T22:44
又一個在公園發瘋的?
Bethany avatar
By Bethany
at 2020-09-08T11:01
快補錢啦
Kelly avatar
By Kelly
at 2020-09-11T03:40
Jessica avatar
By Jessica
at 2020-09-13T02:54
好了啦
Oliver avatar
By Oliver
at 2020-09-15T17:32
我覺得前一篇比較好笑,老梗但有鋪陳
Anonymous avatar
By Anonymous
at 2020-09-17T12:15
鄧不利多那他可以做空啊
Robert avatar
By Robert
at 2020-09-19T23:03
小鄧沒有試著放空嗎?XD
Jacob avatar
By Jacob
at 2020-09-22T11:19
我比較想知道你們吃什麼吃了一斤
Margaret avatar
By Margaret
at 2020-09-26T03:06
Frederic avatar
By Frederic
at 2020-09-26T19:07
哈哈哈哈真的蠻好笑的
Charlotte avatar
By Charlotte
at 2020-09-30T10:40
江郎才盡?還是有笑有推啦!讚一個
Lydia avatar
By Lydia
at 2020-09-30T23:48
我覺得很可愛啊!
Elvira avatar
By Elvira
at 2020-10-01T13:35
呃 這個別桶 太好笑了
Andy avatar
By Andy
at 2020-10-06T00:06
有笑有推
Jacky avatar
By Jacky
at 2020-10-06T15:03
我覺得很好笑耶XD
Faithe avatar
By Faithe
at 2020-10-08T22:18
有笑有推XD
Elvira avatar
By Elvira
at 2020-10-10T09:26
XDDDD
Faithe avatar
By Faithe
at 2020-10-11T01:46
我覺DER不錯R
Daniel avatar
By Daniel
at 2020-10-12T20:09
其實蠻好笑的
Dora avatar
By Dora
at 2020-10-14T17:41
不爭氣的笑惹Xd
Odelette avatar
By Odelette
at 2020-10-18T09:23
有笑有推 XDDD
Caitlin avatar
By Caitlin
at 2020-10-22T22:38
Ina avatar
By Ina
at 2020-10-26T22:17
嘴角失守 給推
Olivia avatar
By Olivia
at 2020-10-28T20:23
還以為來到JOKE版 XD
Rebecca avatar
By Rebecca
at 2020-11-01T02:32
呵呵
Ida avatar
By Ida
at 2020-11-01T16:11
葛萊芬多
Caitlin avatar
By Caitlin
at 2020-11-05T16:09
Caitlin avatar
By Caitlin
at 2020-11-08T17:51
哈哈哈
Megan avatar
By Megan
at 2020-11-09T05:32
為什麼是 鄧不利多
Leila avatar
By Leila
at 2020-11-10T20:06
優質好文
Madame avatar
By Madame
at 2020-11-12T16:06
Yedda avatar
By Yedda
at 2020-11-14T16:50
可以
Tristan Cohan avatar
By Tristan Cohan
at 2020-11-16T11:58
那就做空阿不會
Eden avatar
By Eden
at 2020-11-21T06:46
葛來分多加十分
Xanthe avatar
By Xanthe
at 2020-11-22T15:38
有點牽強
Necoo avatar
By Necoo
at 2020-11-23T12:10
廢到笑。XD
Elizabeth avatar
By Elizabeth
at 2020-11-24T10:37
冥燈捏 他下1成朋友空9成必勝
Skylar Davis avatar
By Skylar Davis
at 2020-11-26T07:53
還行啦 給箭頭
Christine avatar
By Christine
at 2020-11-30T04:38
有笑有推
Tristan Cohan avatar
By Tristan Cohan
at 2020-12-05T02:47
供三小
Eartha avatar
By Eartha
at 2020-12-09T04:32
幸好我不幸鄧...不過這種文不用水桶嗎?
Poppy avatar
By Poppy
at 2020-12-13T23:26
念在你有創意夠噱頭, 還有
Edith avatar
By Edith
at 2020-12-15T21:09
2分鐘 再發一篇\吧
Franklin avatar
By Franklin
at 2020-12-16T15:21
確定你今天要放空卻借不到劵...
Liam avatar
By Liam
at 2020-12-17T15:07
有笑有推
Quintina avatar
By Quintina
at 2020-12-19T10:35
好笑
Emma avatar
By Emma
at 2020-12-23T18:33
結尾弱爆
James avatar
By James
at 2020-12-23T22:55
走錯棚?
Aaliyah avatar
By Aaliyah
at 2020-12-25T16:28
70分
Hazel avatar
By Hazel
at 2020-12-29T07:04
不錯!
Charlotte avatar
By Charlotte
at 2021-01-02T04:32
內文有好笑的舖陳 結尾最弱 沒看過人這樣行文的
Edith avatar
By Edith
at 2021-01-06T20:20
哈哈哈哈
Suhail Hany avatar
By Suhail Hany
at 2021-01-09T14:43
給過
Olive avatar
By Olive
at 2021-01-13T10:25
蠻好笑的
Jack avatar
By Jack
at 2021-01-16T22:56
笑了
Charlotte avatar
By Charlotte
at 2021-01-18T09:24
xdd
Andrew avatar
By Andrew
at 2021-01-21T23:04
廢文有越來越多的趨勢
Skylar Davis avatar
By Skylar Davis
at 2021-01-26T02:39
Linda avatar
By Linda
at 2021-01-29T20:38
87分 給過 哈哈哈哈
Tom avatar
By Tom
at 2021-02-03T20:27
有笑給推
Hazel avatar
By Hazel
at 2021-02-08T01:29
嘴角有上揚w
Xanthe avatar
By Xanthe
at 2021-02-13T01:19
有笑有推
Odelette avatar
By Odelette
at 2021-02-15T10:48
笑翻了,給推
Caitlin avatar
By Caitlin
at 2021-02-18T11:13
不過這系列跟之前孔子或佛陀的白話翻譯那系列有像
Tristan Cohan avatar
By Tristan Cohan
at 2021-02-20T19:06
可能到後面沒梗了就會越來越難笑
Faithe avatar
By Faithe
at 2021-02-22T17:38
我覺得可以
Noah avatar
By Noah
at 2021-02-24T21:23
XDDD
Erin avatar
By Erin
at 2021-03-01T06:22
可以。
Gary avatar
By Gary
at 2021-03-05T13:39
有笑有推
Queena avatar
By Queena
at 2021-03-10T02:27
就可已死
Ida avatar
By Ida
at 2021-03-12T04:27
哈哈
Hardy avatar
By Hardy
at 2021-03-15T06:53
我笑到在高鐵上抖
Gilbert avatar
By Gilbert
at 2021-03-15T13:15
靠北

我不玩股票 但是跟你們講一下重點

Genevieve avatar
By Genevieve
at 2020-03-15T23:21
以美國的情況來說 如果川普政府還是故意不認清現實 執著要搞疫苗(就是想賺黑心錢) 如果美國政府還是不去搞常規防疫 (也就是口罩生產/病毒教育傳播/設法改善現有的超市防疫安全系統/醫療問題改進 流浪漢問題 等等跟防疫確實有關的重大問題處理時) 導致病毒的蔓延and#34;根本沒半個政府去確實阻止時and# ...

想抄底的別做白工了

Harry avatar
By Harry
at 2020-03-15T23:04
聽到很多人明天想抄底 其實沒甚麼好抄的 明天開盤一定跳空大漲 我知道我現在預約的限價委託買單明天一個都不會成交 但我還是得下單 因為我必須按照公開說明書上的投資策略操作基金 可悲的做白工工具人 - ...

【自白】我曾經參與過內線交易

Callum avatar
By Callum
at 2020-03-15T22:52
這件事隱藏在我心中很多年。 雖然我並沒有從這場交易中獲得任何利益,但直到現在確定已經過了追溯期,我才 敢將事情的原委說出來。 以下的人物、公司名都是虛構的。請不要對號入座,更不要妄加揣測。 13年前 當時我只是名普通的高中生,每天除了上學放學,生活一成不變,平凡到不行。 但我有一點跟同 ...

明天多空雙巴盤?

Megan avatar
By Megan
at 2020-03-15T22:51
哥最近也是休盤,真的是閒閒沒事做 來解盤一下好了 原po會不會打拳擊? 拳擊有個聲東擊西的假動作技巧 比如我左手出一拳虛拳,沒受過訓練的人會下意識往左閃 接著我的右手打出的實拳不但命中還會加強傷害 回到大盤 明天主力的策略會是: 開盤先開低再走低一點 等散戶做空,主力就先拉一根,先巴散戶一 ...

疫情推測

Hedda avatar
By Hedda
at 2020-03-15T22:46
疫情對世界經濟的影響 應該會是朝 and#34;適應and#34; 而不是 and#34;消滅and#34; 武漢肺炎的趨勢走 因為全世界已經發生多國大規模擴散 且未有趨緩的狀況 病毒的疫苗開發速度和臨床實驗看起來趕不上病毒的擴散速度 另外就算疫苗研發了 接種率和疫苗取得 跟各國公衛系統還有國民經濟水 ...